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Dying Soul

He felt like he had just been sucker punched in the gut and his face twisted in pain as a stabbing sensation repeated itself over and over again in his chest; it was his heart. It was slowly breaking up into sharp pieces and each piece was piercing into his very soul, sinking into it. And each little piece had her venomous words etched into them. He couldn’t breathe, he tried so hard but every breath caused his chest to constrict even more. He had never been a man of emotions, never been one to express them or show that he even had any. But tonight all those thick walls came crashing down and the real man behind the mask was revealed; it was a sight he wanted no one to see but she saw it. She saw it all happen before her very eyes and at that exact moment she cursed herself and wanted nothing more than to cut out her forked tongue.

His knees gave in and he collapsed onto the large wooden desk behind him, his hands grasping the sides for support, fingers digging into the wood as the numbness of all that had happened faded away and his raw emotions came crashing in. It felt like every nerve ending in his entire body was exposed and set alight; it was excruciating. He lifted his now teary, dead-eyed gaze to her. His lips parted and he wanted to say so many things but the sight of her just choked him up all over again. He couldn’t speak. One look at her and everything she had just said came ringing through his ears like the sound of a fire alarm going off.

She stood there frozen in place and when he looked at her all the blood drained away, her skin felt cold and, her hands now balled in fists were clammy and her bottom lip began to tremble. She had never meant to say what she had said. In a fit of anger she had gone off at him, she had told him things that were not true at all, not one little bit but those were the things that cut him really deep. The lies were what hurt him the most because it was something he would easily believe and she knew it. She opened her mouth to speak. She wanted to take it all back but she knew she couldn’t. He wouldn’t believe her, not now. Her vision began to blur as the tears welled up in her eyes and she took one shaky step towards him. She had to try.

‘Don’t.’ his voice seemed to sound like thunder in the silence and it was filled with so much pain.

That one word was all it took. She turned and walked out the door as calmly as she could and once out of sight she ran, the tears streaming, her cries of anguish at herself, cries of regret and cries of a fool’s heart being shattered by her own stupidity rang through the house.

He remained there, his eyes falling closed and a single tear rolled down his cheek as the last piece of his heart went crashing down and pierced the final piece of his dying soul. He had nothing left. No heart. No soul. Nothing; he was now merely a hollow shell of the man he once was. Now he truly knew what it was like to hold no feelings, knew now what it meant not to feel. In that final moment of his soul’s dying did he realize that he would never get that back.


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